If we can’t get rid of guns, let’s at least do this five dollar thing.

“If guns were banned, then how would men kill their wives? How would men kill themselves? How would men exact revenge on the world for not giving them everything they’d ever wanted?”

So, reading How To Be Safe is going to feel extremely timely. This novel about the aftermath of a school shooting in a small town highlights the absurdity of gun culture in this country, shows what a nightmare our society is for women, and somehow manages to be really fucking funny. Weird, right? Maybe this book isn’t for everyone, but it is for everyone who is cool and likes great books and has a good sense of humor. I saved a lot of quotes from this book, (probably 52 million) but this one:

“Every time a man meets a woman, he should have to give her $5. He should have to give her $5 and say, ‘I’m sorry.’ Then he should never talk again.”

is now my favorite thing ever written, and is also a very good idea.  And I’m so very glad that this is coming from a male author, because I don’t have to answer to any accusations that women just hate men for no reason. To be clear, I can answer to that, but I’m glad I don’t have to.

history of the world
I don’t actually hate men, I just really like this meme.

So, you see, this author is a man, and I loved this book, and I love him for writing it. And, it just so happens that 17 years ago today, I went on a first date with a guy who right this minute is with our 11 year old daughter at a Taylor Swift concert. He took her because I didn’t want to go. Now that is love. (J/k, he totally wanted to go, but it still counts.) Total number of men I don’t hate? At least two.

Look at these babies.

Obviously, there are way more than two men that I don’t hate. I mean, as the mother of a son, I understand that men are human beings who deserve respect. I guess I just relate to the main character of this book when she said,

“I was hoping my cynicism would be the thing that kept me alive.”

Same, girl, same.

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